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luvski 发表于 2012-5-22 22:12 
就是因为我知道他为啥把我扔在外婆家的原因， 所以直到大了懂事后， 我还是不能放下思想包袱。 现在我还 ...
It is not easy although it is easier for me to say because he was not my Dad. It hurts if you feel you were left at your grandma and that he did not want you. That is very hurtful for a child. However thank heavens you have grown up as a capable independent and very smart human being - inspite of how he treated you. On the other hand you can take that as half full instead of half empty and thank him, for whatever reasons he might have, to let go of you to live with your grandma. Because of that you became stronger and more independent - and became a very successful human being, totally capable of loving and caring for others . Take this opportunity when you are surrounded by family love, to make up with him and your mom. Change you mind (attitude) and change your feelings - it all depends on your stand, on how your interprete the data - the facts, which will not change... To seek inner peace is try to be less judgmental and be more forgiving and have more compassion. He is an old man now. Nothing will please him more than a daughter's love. He will be moved by your love and you will gain all the fatherly love you deserve. As a result you will be a better human being. The motivation is of course to make yourself to be a better human being - you are accountable to your own self.
I had issues with my Dad as well when I was young. As I said he was a guy's guy and although he takes me everywhere like going out to see basketball and buy me icecream etc. , even take me with him to visit his friends ( behind my mother's back) and he taught me dancing and let me learn martial art, and i learned to be sociable following his example of being friendly with people I did not like his smoking habits and his selfish ways and sometimes his angry ways with my mom. However I forgave him after I went to University and be nice to him and he became very proud of me. I began to see another face of Dad when I grew up - his generosity, his loyalty to friends and his ways of helping other people. In Toronto when he visited me all my friends became his friends and also so many of his old friends visited him because he had helped them before so that every evening I did not have to make dinner becuase we are always invited out for dinner by the friends he had before. I felt that my Dad was an enigma to me - that I really did not quite understand him and I have a great respect for him even as he had bad temper when we were young and sometimes suffered as a result. I think if you try to discover about your Dad you will find many surprises.
So inspite of some short comings I think my Dad is the most resourceful and powerful man and I am very thankful that I had him in my life. |
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雷达卡
发表于 2012-5-22 21:18:23
显身卡
发表于 2012-5-22 21:21:25
楼主